Dreams Do Come True

I’ve always dreamt about the day I would have a baby, but the first time I really thought about actually trying was when my friend Meagan got pregnant. Her son is now turning 3 years old. I feel like that was an eternity ago. Although, I was ready, my husband was not. I tried to push and beg and cry to get my way, but it didn’t work. Around 8 months ago, I finally prayed that God would change either my heart or my husband’s because it was beginning to cause problems in our relationship. I knew for a fact that God would change Joel’s heart, not mine. Funny how we think we know how God is going to work. Turns out, my heart was the one that got changed. I went from begging and crying to being content where we were in life overnight. I began enjoying the things that one day we wouldn’t get to do anymore (i.e. two vacations in one year, going out with friends at the last minute). I realized that God had a reason for us not getting pregnant at that time and I had to trust my husband to be the head of the house and allow him to lead me (not always an easy thing to do, but when does God call us to do things that are easy). Now this doesn’t mean that all thoughts of having a baby left my mind, but I definitely didn’t push for it as much. Then January rolled around, it was time to re-examine our plan. After some back and forth we decided it was time to start trying to expand our family. I really thought that it would take us about 6 months to get pregnant. The first month was February and I tried to convince myself that it was not going to happen and not to get my hopes up, but needless to say, the day my period came, I was devastated. I tried to hide it, but others around me knew I was not ok, even though they didn’t know why. But, I didn’t stay sad for long. I think God purposely made it so that after you find out you’re not pregnant; you get another shot at it a few days later. That was very encouraging. So there we were in March, time to try again. Deep down I once again tried not to get my hopes up, but thoughts of telling others we were pregnant, feeling the baby kick, and holding my sweet bundle of joy in my arms filled my head. Joel was very insistent that we not buy a pregnancy test before my missed period. He kept saying, “Tests are a secondary form of finding out, God created a natural way of knowing.” I knew what he meant, but I just wanted to know! I tried my best to honor my husband’s wishes and waited until the day my period was expected to come and when it didn’t come bright and early the morning it was due, I decided I had waited long enough. I woke up on Saturday, March 23, 2013 and went straight to the bathroom. I locked the doors and whipped out the pregnancy test. This was the kind of test that was supposed to form a cross if you were pregnant and a single line if you were not. I watched the tiny white screen change colors from left to right, all while only seeing a single line. My heart sunk! I decided I needed to wait the prescribed 2-5 minutes and then check again. Longest 2 minutes of my life! I looked and could faintly see a cross. The instructions had said ANY sign of the cross meant you were pregnant, but I still couldn’t decide if my eyes were playing tricks on me or if I really was pregnant. Since Joel was still in bed I sent a text to my friend Laura Gail with a picture asking if she saw a cross too! Her response “Shut your face! I see a cross!!!!!!!!!” Ok, so now it was time to wake Joel and get his opinion (at this point I no longer cared that he was sleeping). “Do you see a cross?” I asked, “Here put on your glasses.” Groggily, he put on his glasses and squinted very intently. His response was not what I was looking for. He said, “It’s kind of hard to tell. Maybe you should wait a few days and take another test.” A FEW DAYS?!?!? Are you kidding me? There was no way that was going to happen. I convinced Joel I could not wait a few days and that we must get a new one right away, but we had to be at the church to work on the new building in just a few short minutes. So it would have to wait. We got to the church, my mind spinning. I was able to semi-focus and get everything set up on the stage, but the moment I had finished and sat down I realized I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed the keys and told Joel I was going to HEB to get another pregnancy test. This time I would not get that stupid one with the cross. I would get the test for dummies, the one that says “Pregnant” or “Not pregnant.” I ran into the restroom once I returned to the church, the pregnancy test discretely hidden in my purse. Once again, two minutes felt like an eternity. The blinking hour glass seemed like it would never go away. Finally, I looked down and there on the screen was the word “pregnant.” I sat there staring waiting for the word “not” to pop up in front of it, but it never came. Tears began to stream down my face as it sank it. I had my friend Caysi go get Joel, who was still working on setting up the stage. As he came over, tears streaming down my face, he opened his arms and began saying “I’m sorry, Babe.” I could not find the words, so through blurry eyes I rampaged through my purse to find the pregnancy test. I handed it to Joel, he took one look and turned to me and said, “Why are you crying?” Boys just don’t understand crying because you’re happy! It’s still taking time to set in and I am daily fighting off the devil as he places thoughts in my head of miscarriages and problems along the way. I once heard a fellow teacher say: “We should not let Satan steal the joy we have today.” Although, I may have a miscarriage or difficulties during this pregnancy, I’m not going to let Satan rob me of my joy today! I’m rejoicing and praising God for the miracle He has begun! WE’RE PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!